At times in my marriage, I forget to be loving, kind, and respectful towards my husband. I turn to harsh words and demeaning statements when I am frustrated or irritated. Instead of kindly talking to my husband to work out our misunderstandings, I become rude and cold. I am very aware that this behavior is not appropriate, successful, Christlike, or justifiable, and I have been trying to improve and change. Do you ever get caught in the same trap as I have been in?
Together, my friend and I turned to the scriptures to see what God has taught us about communicating with our husbands.
We found an excellent scripture that humbled us and taught us how we can be virtuous and loving spouses. In Proverbs 31:26 it says, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." This scripture was exactly what we needed to hear.
Whenever we open our mouths, we should think before we speak, and then choose only to speak those things that are wise and kind. We should never resort to malicious or cruel statements, and we do NOT need to say everything that we are thinking. In all honesty, most of what I am thinking when I am upset is illogical or untrue anyway, so why would I say those things to the one I love most?
Do I really need to tell my husband that a former boyfriend used to do such and such for me? NO. Not wise, not kind.
Do I constantly need to remind my husband of his flaws whenever I see them? NO. Not wise, not kind.
Do I need to point out every time my husband makes a mistake? NO. Not wise, not kind.
Do I need to tell my husband that he makes me crazy and I wish I could have a vacation from him? (Guilty...) NOOOO. Not wise, not kind.
I have been praying about this scripture since the Lord directed us to it, and I have tried to apply this in my marriage for the last few days. The result? A MUCH happier marriage! Even though I'm still not perfect, this gentle reminder to be kind and wise when speaking to my husband has been a blessing. My husband has noticed a difference and has thanked me for being kinder, and he has tried to apply these same principles when he is speaking to me. We have felt more love, more peace, and more trust.
I am so thankful for the scriptures and the lessons they teach. I know that this lesson not only applies to marriage, but to ALL of the people we communicate with, in whatever form. I love the scriptures and I know that they are the words of our God.
What other scriptures have you found that have helped you communicate with your husband better?